Things I Think Are Kinda Cool

This might be the first time in my life that an elevator has made me crazy-hungry:

-via Buzzfeed

The Chinese Red Army decided to commemorate Michael Jackson’s birthday in a few days by performing their passionate rendition of “Beat It”.

-via Dooby Brain

* Forgetting your past is virtually impossible because of the cringeworthy digital trails we leave on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks. Those embarrassing mistakes you made in college are often the first things that strangers know about you. Uh oh. – NY Times

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* Go behind-the-scenes at the Library of Congress as the pros preserve and digitize ancient texts…it’s an insanely delicate (and unbelievably important) job. – Boing Boing

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* Humans spend the majority of time (even more than having sex) in imaginary worlds through books, films, video games, etc – Why is it that even when we know something is fictional, there’s a biological part of us that truly believes it’s real? – Chronicle

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* Take an in-depth look at Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video, and how the production revealed cracks in the seemingly unstoppable Jackson Machine. – Vanity Fair

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* The age-old mystery has finally been solved – why do some countries drive on the left versus the right? Great info for your next cocktail party (or a dive bar, or wherever you get drunk). – Today I Found Out

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* A Russian dude turned down the $1 Million he won for solving one of the world’s most difficult math problems, the Poincare Conjecture, because he got in a little tiff with the ‘math community’ (bitchy mathematicians). Here’s what the Poincare Conjecture is all about. – Slate

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* Did you hear how Chinese corporations are hiring white dudes to act like the president of the company in the hopes of attracting more investments? So crazy. Check out these interviews with guys that have actually taken part in the bizarre stunts. – VBS & The Atlantic

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* I’ve wanted cities to install moving sidewalks for as long as I can remember…it’s been a slight obsession of mine. (Yes, I need a hobby.) But is it really a good idea? – Slate

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* The potential successor to the Dalai Lama isn’t an old sage sitting silently in a forest cave waiting for his turn. His name is Karmapa Lama. He’s 24 years old, loves video games, listens to rap music, and is WAY cooler than you and me – Global Post

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* Have you noticed the new subculture called ‘Steampunk’ gaining steam lately? (Sorry, bad pun). It’s based on an intense love with Victorian-era machines and the world of Jules Verne (think “Back to the Future 3″). Learn more about this crazy world. – More Intelligent Life

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(Did you see I used a photo from my Awkward Stock Photos post? Apparently they ARE useful!)

Do you remember the 80′s Nickelodeon game show “Finders Keepers”?  Lucky hyperactive kids trashed a fake 3-story house looking for clues & prizes – they carelessly dumped out drawers, maniacally ripped up couches, violently smashed vases, and all other sorts of beautiful mayhem.  I was obsessed.  Jog your memory:

Fast forward about 20 years…

A shopping mall in Shenyang, China, has just opened a “Venting Store” that keeps the destructive spirit of “Finders Keepers” alive and kicking hard.  Shoppers (only women at the moment) start by buying older but absolutely real electronics and appliances…they’re then given a helmut, gloves, and a baseball bat.

You can guess what comes next – a whole lot of smashing and Chinese-lady-screaming. So far, most of the customers have been white collar workers and college students stressed out about the economy and unemployment (sound familiar?).  The store is designed like a real house, so the women can fantasize about kicking the crap out of their own surroundings without having to vacuum up the mess.

We already import over $300 billion in Chinese products a year- let’s just include the “Venting Strore” idea in the overall package and call it a day.

-Link via Presurfer

BRAIN:  I’m exhausted.

YOU:  Been reading all your high-brow fancy-schmancy articles again, huh?  What’s that you’re reading now?

BRAIN:  Nothing.

YOU:  It’s obviously something.  What is it?

BRAIN:  …schmuss breechley…

YOU:  Huh?

BRAIN:  …frush kreakly…

YOU:  WHAT?

BRAIN:  Fine…US WEEKLY!  Happy now?!?  Are you KIDDING me, Jesse James?  That’s America’s Sweetheart, Acadamy Award winner Sandra Bullock!  We’re already on Mistress #4, and who knows when th-

YOU:  SHUT THE HELL UP!

BRAIN: —

YOU:  First you were obsessed with Tiger Woods, now this dude?  Put down the damn magazine and read these articles…NOW.

BRAIN:  thanks……i need help.

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* The honeymoon is over.  Digital media and the internet are creating some fascinating (and some would argue, negative) side-effects:  our ‘mash-up’ culture is challenging concepts of ownership, our political discourse is becoming even more intensely polarized, mediocrity is winning the battle against expertise, and the list goes on.  This article is chocked-full of compelling ideas. – NY Times

* Fun-fact:  By 2025, China will build TEN New York-sized cities.  Not-so-fun-fact:  China executes three times as many people as the rest of the world COMBINED.  Those are just 2 of 15 facts about China that will literally blow your mind. – Business Insider

* Have snarky movie review blogs killed legitimate film criticism, or are they simply adding more accessible ideas to ‘establishment’ opinions?  The evolution of film criticism has been long and winding, from it’s birth at the beginning of the 20th century, to it’s debatable death today. – The Chronicle

* Researchers studied 150 Hollywood films and recorded the length of every shot.  They then calculated the average frequency between shots, called “Pink Noise”.  Now here’s the trippy part – the specific characteristic of “Pink Noise” that they discovered is found all over our everyday life:  the beating of our heart, the ups and downs of the stock market, traffic patterns, how we focus/re-focus our attention, and so much more…woah.  – NY Times

* Apparently male mice are romantic little devils – they actually sing ultrasonic love songs to impress the ladies.  (Rats do this too, but no one wants to think about them). – MSNBC